This week I was hit with something that I wasn't prepared for. I've worked with a lot of youth over the years (be it volunteering or employment). I continue to work with the youth today. I was approached by a young lady that is dealing with a very serious issue....SEX! First, I have to say that I was humbled when she opened up to me about what she is dealing with and actually valued my opinion. So, I asked her what was going on and she told me that her friends are having sex and now her boyfriend wants to as well, but she isn't ready. She said she spoke to her mother about it but she got the standard parent answer, "you know that I don't want you to have sex, but if you do make sure that you use protection." She said that her first thought was 'do you care that I have sex?' That hit home for me. I have two children at home ages 11 and 13 and I know that this issue is about to enter into their lives. I read a blog earlier this week "I don't want you as my Facebook friend" by Sister Teri Brooks and it reminded me about the relationships that teens have with adults. Some are good but sometimes we as adults make so hard for teens to be themselves (great read). So back to the young lady, as she was talking I was trying to figure out how to respond but then it hit me. Be honest and be truthful, don't run from this conversation. First I congratulated her on waiting and told her that it was very big of her and that I don't want her to have sex either. I also told her that her mother cares and that telling her to use protection was a way of educating her. She then told me that one of her reasons for waiting is her relationship with God (thank you Jesus). That is powerful, especially coming from a 15 year old girl. But I had to keep it real. I told her that this is an issue that is not going to go away. At 30something and single, I am dealing with it (FLESH) daily. I told her that I have a friend (accountability partner) that I can call on whenever I am faced with that issue. We pray together and I am also reminded that I love God more. I also told her that sometimes I have to repeat over and over "I love God more, I love God more". I told her about some of the stories that I have heard from some men that said that they didn't have premarital sex because their wife said no...wait until we're married and they did just that. They waited. They felt that she was worth it. These men prayed for a wife and when God blessed them with the women, they respected them and obeyed the Word of God. She and I talked about what most boys (and some girls) would say when you tell them that you're not ready, 'don't you love me', if you don't someone else will', don't you want to keep him'. I told her to respond, "isn't God's masterpiece worth waiting for?" She smiled at that one. At the end I had to ask, "did I help?" She said yes and that she is going to hang in there. I then thought about how to talk to my own children. I can't run from this conversation, I will have to face it. Little did that young lady know how much she had helped me. I can't give my children that standard parent answer. I really need to talk about it with them. As a parent I want to protect my children from the world but I know that I can't. What I can do is continue to educate them on what they will face, continue to support and nurture their relationship with God, and be there when they need me.
So my question for you is, when that time comes will you run or talk about it? For those who have been there, did you run or talk about it?