Am I that immature?

I used a question to title this blog, "am I that immature?". I had to ask myself that question after receiving an awesome word from the Lord on Sunday. My pastor, John Brooks-Macedonia Baptist Church, preached a sermon titled "What are you going to do?". The sermon came from Matt 25:14-30, the parable of the talents. As God was using my pastor to tell me how I am not being a good steward of the money that He has so graciously provided me with, I began to realize that I really need to mature in this Christian walk. I say that I love God and that I trust Him but how can I when I am not handling my (well His) money how He sees fit? What's crazy about this is that for a few weeks I have been telling myself that I need to do better and I am going to do it with the next check, and then when that check comes I then say 'oh the next check'. Well, how many more checks will I receive before God says, "no more, your time is up?" I was truly convicted by the sermon. All I could do was sit there and say, "Lord, I am sorry".
When things got rough for me, I took matters into my own hands, yet at the same time saying, 'Lord, I know that you're going to work this out'. What was I thinking? I quit allowing God to be the captain of my ship. I tried to take the reigns, quit assisting in areas where I was needed and tried to do things on my own. As time went on, God went from being captain, to co-captain, to being a crew mate, and then I realized what I did. As I kept pushing Him back (unintentionally), I quit depending on Him like I should. My time and money were no longer invested in Him but into my own problems. As this was going on, my ship kept sinking. But by His grace, he didn't let me sink to the bottom. He did something that caught my attention...He anchored me. What I mean by that is that he made me sit and think about what I was doing before I could go further. I am thankful that He did so. By anchoring me, I am clearly seeing my immaturity in this Christian walk. I need to quit trying to take the lead. If I told Him that He is Lord of my life...then so be it.
God has given me a package. The package contains the following: my job, finances, children, car, home, friends, family, spiritual gifts/talents, and a voice (just to name a few). With this package, He has given me a command to go out make disciples. He has entrusted me with many things for the purpose of His kingdom. When he returns to collect, I should be able to show something, not just what He has given me but the growth of the investment that He has instilled me.
God has given you a package. That is His investment in you. Investments are made to grow. When you invest in something, you expect positive outcomes. Show God the same thing. I have been convicted....I am glad that He hasn't come to collect from me....He just checked on it. Now, it's time for me to really show some maturity in this walk.
Be Blessed